Less Forgetful Forgiveness
Description
5 Tips To Manage The Holidays When You Are Single
Do You Need A Love Detox From Your Ex?
Is Your Ego In Charge Of Fixing Your Love Life?
10 Signs That You Are A Love Junkie
6 Ways To Help Your Children Through Divorce
Are You More In Love With Him Than He Is With You?
When You Become Desperate for a Date Night
Losing the Fights in Your Relationship
Advice On First Dates
Why Men Don’t Want To Date Strong Women
How Do I Get A Date?
Have I Found The One?
How Can I Get A Girlfriend?
3 Steps To Starting Successful Conversations
Is It Okay To Tell Her She Looks Fat?
Should I Give Up On This Girl?
4 Things I Should Tell You Before We Start Dating
Life After Divorce: Papers Not Yet Signed & She’s Already Dating My Friend!
Forgiveness. What an interesting concept so influenced by culture. For some cultures, forgiveness is an unknown concept due to being so intensely linked as a community — what one does to one, one does to all. For other cultures, forgiveness plays no role in life. Eye for an eye. In our culture, it seems to mean, “If I forgive them, that means that I am saying what they did is ok.”
As someone who used to struggle under that misconception, I didn’t realize how trapped I was by my own desire for the other person to admit they were wrong (I didn’t need a get on your knees and beg kind of apology — although, at times I thought it was merited, but just an acknowledgement of wrong-doing.) It took some seriously tough to let go of situations (as in I was still seething and they were off tra-la-la-ing) for me to realize that the unforgiveness was only hurting one person. Me. And I was so good at my social face that the offender rarely realized that they were living in the cold, icy confines of my unforgiveness glacier. (In fact, I think they probably felt fairly tropical because I did my best to avoid them.) I finally came to understand that forgiveness isn’t about freeing the other person, its about freeing myself.
After I realized why it was so important to forgive (so I could tra-la-la too), I had to come to grips with my firmly held desire for justice and my unwillingness to do anything that would even remotely encourage that kind of awfulness to continue. It took quite a bit of mental wrangling before I finally got it! I could trust God to take care of any just desserts that needed dishing and move on with my life (I mean look at what he did to that nasty Pharaoh person who wouldn’t let His people go free because they were great pyramid slaves.)
Leaving me with my final stumbling block — letting go of my belief that forgiveness meant forgetting and going on as before.
I don’t know how it happened, but one day a light bulb went off for me. Just because I forgive someone, doesn’t mean I have to let them do it again. I could still draw boundaries, just like I did in my normal day to day world and if I chose to not have relationship with the dastardly do-er anymore, I didn’t have to. It all came down to understanding that I choose how people treat me and I don’t have to choose to let that person do his or her dastardly all over my life.
Break ups can be nasty grudge incubators (as can day to day relationships), so I thought that bringing up forgiveness might be important. Does anyone have any helpful suggestions you use to help you move past unforgiveness and into forgiveness? Any situations where you just don’t think forgiveness is an option? You just woke up a natural forgiver and don’t see what all the fuss is about?
Do You Need A Love Detox From Your Ex?
Is Your Ego In Charge Of Fixing Your Love Life?
10 Signs That You Are A Love Junkie
6 Ways To Help Your Children Through Divorce
Are You More In Love With Him Than He Is With You?
When You Become Desperate for a Date Night
Losing the Fights in Your Relationship
Advice On First Dates
Why Men Don’t Want To Date Strong Women
How Do I Get A Date?
Have I Found The One?
How Can I Get A Girlfriend?
3 Steps To Starting Successful Conversations
Is It Okay To Tell Her She Looks Fat?
Should I Give Up On This Girl?
4 Things I Should Tell You Before We Start Dating
Life After Divorce: Papers Not Yet Signed & She’s Already Dating My Friend!
Forgiveness. What an interesting concept so influenced by culture. For some cultures, forgiveness is an unknown concept due to being so intensely linked as a community — what one does to one, one does to all. For other cultures, forgiveness plays no role in life. Eye for an eye. In our culture, it seems to mean, “If I forgive them, that means that I am saying what they did is ok.”
As someone who used to struggle under that misconception, I didn’t realize how trapped I was by my own desire for the other person to admit they were wrong (I didn’t need a get on your knees and beg kind of apology — although, at times I thought it was merited, but just an acknowledgement of wrong-doing.) It took some seriously tough to let go of situations (as in I was still seething and they were off tra-la-la-ing) for me to realize that the unforgiveness was only hurting one person. Me. And I was so good at my social face that the offender rarely realized that they were living in the cold, icy confines of my unforgiveness glacier. (In fact, I think they probably felt fairly tropical because I did my best to avoid them.) I finally came to understand that forgiveness isn’t about freeing the other person, its about freeing myself.
After I realized why it was so important to forgive (so I could tra-la-la too), I had to come to grips with my firmly held desire for justice and my unwillingness to do anything that would even remotely encourage that kind of awfulness to continue. It took quite a bit of mental wrangling before I finally got it! I could trust God to take care of any just desserts that needed dishing and move on with my life (I mean look at what he did to that nasty Pharaoh person who wouldn’t let His people go free because they were great pyramid slaves.)
Leaving me with my final stumbling block — letting go of my belief that forgiveness meant forgetting and going on as before.
I don’t know how it happened, but one day a light bulb went off for me. Just because I forgive someone, doesn’t mean I have to let them do it again. I could still draw boundaries, just like I did in my normal day to day world and if I chose to not have relationship with the dastardly do-er anymore, I didn’t have to. It all came down to understanding that I choose how people treat me and I don’t have to choose to let that person do his or her dastardly all over my life.
Break ups can be nasty grudge incubators (as can day to day relationships), so I thought that bringing up forgiveness might be important. Does anyone have any helpful suggestions you use to help you move past unforgiveness and into forgiveness? Any situations where you just don’t think forgiveness is an option? You just woke up a natural forgiver and don’t see what all the fuss is about?
Début de l'événement
16.04.2023
Fin de l'événement
16.04.2023
Sales Pitch Gone Wrong
Description
Public Displays of Affection
Secrets for a More Satisfying Relationship
A Note To Guys About Helping Your Date Feel Safe
Avoid the First Date Let Down
Letting Go of the Control Freak
Keep It Classy America
How To Be More Emotionally Low Maintenance
I Like Me!
Why Are You Still Single?
How Do You Meet Someone New?
Tonight the phone rang. I checked caller ID and it was unavailable… some random 1-800 number. I almost didn’t answer, but I thought better of it. I’ve been able to stop most of these random calls by picking up the phone, hearing them ask for someone I’ve never heard of, and telling them they have the wrong number. So yeah, I was a little sharp when I said “Hello?” A woman was on the other end of the phone and the conversation went like this:
Her: Is Mr. Wonder there?
Me: There is no Mr. Wonder.
Her: Oh…. Mrs. Wonder?
Me: No, there’s no Mrs. Wonder either.
Her: Ummmmm… I’m calling for…. Jane Wonder?
Me: I’m Jane Wonder but I’m definitely not married.
Her: Oh. This is Comcast and we recently got your order to disconnect… [insert sales pitch here]
Now let me tell you something. I have had this cable account for two years. In those two years I have always been Ms. Wonder. There is no Mr. Wonder nor was there at any point in our cable relationship. Nor was I a Mrs. at any point. Which makes this an incredibly grave error. Especially on the part of a company which has had a two year relationship with me.
Let me be clear. This is not a random sales pitch. It’s not a cold sales call where some telemarketer doesn’t know what they’re walking into. No. This was a call from my cable company of two years. My cable company which I have paid, on time, a rather large sum of money every single month. My cable company who ought to know exactly who I am or at least have a cheat sheet attached to my file so they can pretend to. Furthermore, the cable company was making this particular call to try to entice me to give them yet more money and not cancel my service. They were trying to strengthen our relationship.
How can you strengthen a relationship with a customer by assuming because she is a woman she must be married and because she must be married her husband must be the default person in charge of the account? Especially when there has never, not once not ever, been a man’s name on said account? How do you expect to sell anything to a woman after telling her her non-existent husband is their preferred person to talk to?
If you see this Comcast, never fear. I terminated service because I’m moving. And there already was no need for me to transfer my service. However, if there had been a chance for me to do that, you would have ruined it the moment you asked for Mr. Wonder, my non-existent husband that your sales rep made up because every woman must be married and her husband must be in charge of everything. And if you intend to continue to do business with anyone, you need to train your people to pay attention to the names on those accounts and not assume every woman is a voiceless little housewife. You’ll certainly piss off less people that way. And less pissed off customers equals better business for you. So I hope this turns up in your tireless searches through the internet for dissatisfied customers. Because I’m dissatisfied Comcast. I’m dissatisfied because after two years of taking my money, you can’t even figure out who has been paying you all that time.
Hmph. Glad I got that out of my system at least. Now pardon me while I take out my aggression by packing some boxes.
Update: Comcast formally apologized to me after this entry was posted. Unfortunately, later this same week another Comcast rep called me about my internet service AND DID THE SAME THING. When I complained, she told me it is their policy to ask for Mr. or Mrs. on every sales call. So Comcast lied to me when they said it shouldn’t have happened. And Comcast in fact trains their staff to behave this way. Not only is it unacceptable to assume everyone is married, but it is unacceptable for any business to ask to speak to someone who has never been listed on a given account. I recommend everyone take this into account when deciding whether or not to use Comcast as a cable/internet/phone carrier. And I firmly recommend that you find another alternative. An alternative who will only speak to the account holder. And an alternative that does not, by policy, assume everyone is married.
Secrets for a More Satisfying Relationship
A Note To Guys About Helping Your Date Feel Safe
Avoid the First Date Let Down
Letting Go of the Control Freak
Keep It Classy America
How To Be More Emotionally Low Maintenance
I Like Me!
Why Are You Still Single?
How Do You Meet Someone New?
Tonight the phone rang. I checked caller ID and it was unavailable… some random 1-800 number. I almost didn’t answer, but I thought better of it. I’ve been able to stop most of these random calls by picking up the phone, hearing them ask for someone I’ve never heard of, and telling them they have the wrong number. So yeah, I was a little sharp when I said “Hello?” A woman was on the other end of the phone and the conversation went like this:
Her: Is Mr. Wonder there?
Me: There is no Mr. Wonder.
Her: Oh…. Mrs. Wonder?
Me: No, there’s no Mrs. Wonder either.
Her: Ummmmm… I’m calling for…. Jane Wonder?
Me: I’m Jane Wonder but I’m definitely not married.
Her: Oh. This is Comcast and we recently got your order to disconnect… [insert sales pitch here]
Now let me tell you something. I have had this cable account for two years. In those two years I have always been Ms. Wonder. There is no Mr. Wonder nor was there at any point in our cable relationship. Nor was I a Mrs. at any point. Which makes this an incredibly grave error. Especially on the part of a company which has had a two year relationship with me.
Let me be clear. This is not a random sales pitch. It’s not a cold sales call where some telemarketer doesn’t know what they’re walking into. No. This was a call from my cable company of two years. My cable company which I have paid, on time, a rather large sum of money every single month. My cable company who ought to know exactly who I am or at least have a cheat sheet attached to my file so they can pretend to. Furthermore, the cable company was making this particular call to try to entice me to give them yet more money and not cancel my service. They were trying to strengthen our relationship.
How can you strengthen a relationship with a customer by assuming because she is a woman she must be married and because she must be married her husband must be the default person in charge of the account? Especially when there has never, not once not ever, been a man’s name on said account? How do you expect to sell anything to a woman after telling her her non-existent husband is their preferred person to talk to?
If you see this Comcast, never fear. I terminated service because I’m moving. And there already was no need for me to transfer my service. However, if there had been a chance for me to do that, you would have ruined it the moment you asked for Mr. Wonder, my non-existent husband that your sales rep made up because every woman must be married and her husband must be in charge of everything. And if you intend to continue to do business with anyone, you need to train your people to pay attention to the names on those accounts and not assume every woman is a voiceless little housewife. You’ll certainly piss off less people that way. And less pissed off customers equals better business for you. So I hope this turns up in your tireless searches through the internet for dissatisfied customers. Because I’m dissatisfied Comcast. I’m dissatisfied because after two years of taking my money, you can’t even figure out who has been paying you all that time.
Hmph. Glad I got that out of my system at least. Now pardon me while I take out my aggression by packing some boxes.
Update: Comcast formally apologized to me after this entry was posted. Unfortunately, later this same week another Comcast rep called me about my internet service AND DID THE SAME THING. When I complained, she told me it is their policy to ask for Mr. or Mrs. on every sales call. So Comcast lied to me when they said it shouldn’t have happened. And Comcast in fact trains their staff to behave this way. Not only is it unacceptable to assume everyone is married, but it is unacceptable for any business to ask to speak to someone who has never been listed on a given account. I recommend everyone take this into account when deciding whether or not to use Comcast as a cable/internet/phone carrier. And I firmly recommend that you find another alternative. An alternative who will only speak to the account holder. And an alternative that does not, by policy, assume everyone is married.
Début de l'événement
08.05.2023
Fin de l'événement
08.05.2023
Sortie Culturelle
Description
La culture, moins on en a, plus on l'étale!
Début de l'événement
30.05.2023 - 16:00
Fin de l'événement
02.05.2021 - 18:00
Adresse url
https://www.yeswiki.net
Adresse
Avenue des Champs Elysées
Code postal
75000
Ville
Paris
Yeswikiday
Description
Une journée pour faire avancer le projet Yeswiki dans la bonne humeur
Début de l'événement
30.04.2020 - 07:00
Fin de l'événement
30.04.2020 - 14:00
Adresse url
https://yeswiki.net/?DocumentatioN
Code postal
7700
Ville
Mouscron
Youpi ici c'est le titre
Description
Un événement autour du vin, c'est pour cela qu'il est à Bordeaux...
Début de l'événement
08.01.2020
Fin de l'événement
10.01.2020
Ville
Bordeaux
Se connecter pour commenter.
Commentaires